Damm bored sia, booking in later again. Have to face my worst nightmare this week, i just hope can improve. Given up on passing IPPT already, my officer was right. The flame will disappear after awhile, i had no motivation left for me to push on, what am i doing, why am i doing this. These are the questions that pass through my mind but i had no answers to them, even with education or even with life, i had no idea what to do. To change the world? Or just to survive?

For what do we live for,
For whom do we keep going for,
Questions with no answers.
I want to keep going on for her,
but what kind of world does she desire?

I realize the screaming pain
Hearing it loud in my brain
But I'm going to go straight ahead with the scar
It's fine if you forget, it's fine if you can't feel it
I've patched up the scrapes in my heart
It's okay if I'm hurt, because I no longer feel the pain
Even as I drag my feet along
I can no longer see
The self
That made a sound
and then collapsed
If you just notice the sound of the wind...
It told me to follow these scars
Before I'd be crushed by the weight of the world
Can you remember it? The sky of tears...
That pain has given you protection
Because this pain will always protect you
More than the strength of being unhurt, the kindness that cannot hurt
Its voice in some ways, seems sad
Just like
Unbuttoning a button
Our hearts and bodies
Were separated
Once again, catch your heart...
It told me to follow these scars
Before I'd be crushed by the weight of the world
Can you remember it? The sky of tears...
That pain has given you protection
Because this pain will always protect you
I found it
That teary voice
There's no mistake
It's my own
All of it was for this moment...
I'm sure that from the beginning, you knew
I was the only one who wouldn't leave you again
I was told to follow these scars
And then there wouldn't be anything to be afraid of...
Don't forget it, your reason for smiling...
That pain has given you protection
That pain has given you protection