Another short week, this week had quite alot of fun considering its our unit anniversary. Finally got a chance to irritate the other coy when we keep asking them to change this and that, small things also look for them to blame, kind of fun to see them in agony although it feels bad at the same time when i see those specs and pionners that are not as irritating suffering with the black sheeps. Guess you cant get the good side only in life.

Had standby, kind of fun and interesting, get to see stuff that you dont really see and the bunk had a ps3(whoa?). Watch evan almighty that day and this strikes me the most "noah's ark is not just a reminder of god's wrath but its a lesson on how people should stay together like the animals that come in pairs" Its interesting and maybe its just coincidence but i believe its a message brought to me that its time for me to learn to count on others when our unit went to watched this movie called the other guys.

The whole movie is about how "extras" can help to save the day. The main characters in the show is just noobs in life, screwing things up whenever they go but they had each other for support and they kind of make it through the whole ordeal of being marked as a failure and prove that they can be heroes.

With that and a quote from fairy tail " even if i cant see you.. even if we are separated far apart... I will always be watching you... I will watch over you forever" i end my post =) things will keep changing around here, a dance of emotions have been playing ever since, let us lose ourselves in this endless waltz

An early bookout due to us having a mini rest on a friday. A bonding session would be appropriate description for it. Starting to get busy again soon, i wonder which weeks i prefer but i guess its no difference to me. This whole week passes in a flash, i cant really remember what i have been doing. The only thing i remember is wednesday night which is lunar festival( i think), kind of regret not msging her... No point thinking too much...

I had a dream in camp, i cant remember the details exactly but i only remember i woke up with tears in my eyes(not exactly crying) and my heart aches alot. The whole picture is that, she left and disappear without a trace and before that she said something to me which i cant remember and i woke up after that... I really hate dreaming, the last time i dreamt it became real, if the same thing happens... i dont know what to do anymore...

Last thing, in camp, one of my bunkmates asked me if i dont train myself, what about my future girlfriend, that set my mind into motion. I came to a conclusion, love and relationships are privileges left to the worthy, people that are kind and nice. People like me with darkness in the heart has no place for that, emotions are there but just that they will never be used... Whatever i say now, i might not follow through in the future not that i care, i will live my life as what i want, things happen for a reason, the link among them is the road to the future and destiny...

The first week of our admin week. Admin week is basically normal training stuff before we turn ops, team response training, physical training and the works. Only this time, there is the element called orderly which the pionners have to help out with office works. Many have said that it is a simple job but somehow it wasnt that in my case, maybe its just because of my CDS but it seems so much things to do, I have to rush things here and there. In any case, my orderly duty is over for the month so nothing much to worry about.

Quote: there is nothing to be sad about, as long we are alive, we will meet again from fairy tail

darkness is still much more comfortable, loneliness provides the serene feeling.

First week of ops, heard alot of stuff and my OC described us as a privileged lot since we are able to know unique stuff that most other people wont know. Not that i was paying much attention to it though. In any case, this week was a short one with thursday and friday off due to various reasons. Monday was just plain packing of stuff i guess? Getting ready for the turn ops parade on tuesday. And tuesday, our first big major hmm move house i guess? The whole thing seems similar though, spent the whole morning on that with the team i am attached to going out of camp for stuff and of course, the turns ops parade which is pretty boring to me...

All in all, turns ops means more responsiblity and i doubt i will be able to handle much of it. Seeing how, i cant handle my emotions well enough. What i swore to myself few months ago seems to be breaking apart already, i want to keep my promise, my way of living but i cant bear to throw away that part of me... Its getting to me and i probably wont be able to handle it much longer since i am getting angry at myself, the people around me, oh and the world in general, my soul wont be able to contain my feelings much longer, need something to release it all... Past remedies no longer work on old problems...

Shadows will fade eventually, illusions doesnt last, happiness was never there at all. Its all an illusion, a long-lasting lie that have to end eventually and the end is nigh...

The end of the final test, practically did nothing for the 3 days out of camp. The bunk was nice and it is quite relaxing there. The only thing i could do as a reserve is sub people or for my team, i just try to give as much advice as i am able to give.

Whatever people feel towards u, its only right to respond to it accordingly. It has been my style since long ago but i wonder why have i make that particular exception. haiz... no idea... the moment i realise this, i wonder how long it will be before i forget everything like before.

A little bit more, just keep doing your best, never give up and hope you get the results you wished for