First week of ops, heard alot of stuff and my OC described us as a privileged lot since we are able to know unique stuff that most other people wont know. Not that i was paying much attention to it though. In any case, this week was a short one with thursday and friday off due to various reasons. Monday was just plain packing of stuff i guess? Getting ready for the turn ops parade on tuesday. And tuesday, our first big major hmm move house i guess? The whole thing seems similar though, spent the whole morning on that with the team i am attached to going out of camp for stuff and of course, the turns ops parade which is pretty boring to me...

All in all, turns ops means more responsiblity and i doubt i will be able to handle much of it. Seeing how, i cant handle my emotions well enough. What i swore to myself few months ago seems to be breaking apart already, i want to keep my promise, my way of living but i cant bear to throw away that part of me... Its getting to me and i probably wont be able to handle it much longer since i am getting angry at myself, the people around me, oh and the world in general, my soul wont be able to contain my feelings much longer, need something to release it all... Past remedies no longer work on old problems...

Shadows will fade eventually, illusions doesnt last, happiness was never there at all. Its all an illusion, a long-lasting lie that have to end eventually and the end is nigh...