A nice peaceful boring week at home, i think in camp more fun.
Resting my leg everyday, eat medicine, standard routine.
Been trying to learn new things but too lazy, gonna try harder soon.
I think i can finally walk, next week can remove the bolt so maybe can walk even better ^^
i want to play basketball soon, and need to train to remove the extra fats.

After some chatting wif friends, i realise some past memories become an existence that u like to avoid but at the same time want to see and experience again those emotions. Its so hard being human, sometimes being mechanical is better, predictable yet flawless...

Darkness is always better than light, the never changing darkness

so yup, somehow or rather i had my operation this thursday instead of next week so i am kind of operated and back at home resting already. The operation process was damm joke, i waited for like 30min or so outside the operating theatre cos they were still operating on some guy inside. I heard the drilling sound so my imagination began to run wild, not going to mention what i imagined but you get the point. Talk to some guy that signed on in army before, he say he from special forces, 2.4km run is 7min+, i was like wth? lol

Anyway, after that, i was pretty much alone. After much waiting, they move me in to the theatre itself which they proceed to put a mask on to put me to sleep. Apprently, i am still slightly scared of masks so kind of struggle causing some uncalled concerns from the nurse and while under the effect of the gas, my brain apprently tries fighting it, i was still quite awake, just that my eyes is closed but still the drug won...

After i woke up, the tube was in my mouth, i was like bloody shocked and quickly pull it out lol, the nurse was suprised also. Anyway, thats for my operation. After a long day resting, vomitting, physio etc etc i am finally home ^^

Not going to write much on this post except this 1 regret that i had this week.
Apprently, i was involved in a major training exercise this week but i cant believe i screw it up.

First, my mistake. I forget to remove wheelchoke for the vehicle, i cant believe how many times my old commanders told me already and i still forget. Seems abit unfair to them when they have already taught us the stuff.

Secondly, when my team commander propose not to neutralise the room, i should have just play safe and ask him to do it anyway. Isnt that what i have been taught so far? I wonder where my learning went to. Perhaps, he is just concerned about our welfare but job comes first.

Lastly, the fact that while during the after action review, i have no answers or ways to help him answer the arrows that went flying at him, its my weakness as well. They might be new but we learn alot from our old team comm already so why... We should be better than this, i wonder what has caused this major screw up.

Sometimes i wish i can just be more normal
just so i can talk to u
Sometimes i wish i can be more creative
just so i can make u happy
Sometimes i wish i can be more bold
just so i can be there for u always
Sometimes i wish i can be more honest
just so i can get my feelings across
Sometimes i wish i am not writing this post
just so i can be whatever instead of wishing

However still, not wishing not praying, facts are facts. Things are hard to change, wheel of fate long spins. Paths will not cross, next time the wind and night meet, the wind will pass by, no longer able to see night. Night is no longer dark, fill with light, hopefully filled with happiness as well.

With that, i end this encounter like ever other encounter i had throughout my life

Chinese new year already, time really flies. 2nd year after i graduate from JC, not really keeping in touch with any of JC classmates but i guess thats just me.
Alot of things happen during the weekend, some sad, some is just plain annoying... I would rather not repeat these events here since i got a khack for bad memories, sad things are deeply etched in my brain rather than the happy ones.
Things that happen during JC are slowly disappearing already, i seem to recall a promise of a lunch of sort last year but i guess its just gone as well... One more less thing to harp on...
In any case, i will disappear sooner or later, why make other people life miserable. One less person to disrupt the flow of life, its always better. If its a minus, the source should always be removed, in which case is me...

I doubt that she will ever see this but anyway, nice meeting you but doubt i will be seeing you anytime in the future, some roads i guess just wont cross, some dreams are just plain cruel illusions