Its like only thursday and i am back at home which i will continue to be for the next week since i am kind of left out of the platoon activity. Though most people would be so happy to be in my position but to me i prefer to go with the group. Even if the training is tough, the event is tough but hey at least you are not alone.

Those that know me would find my previous sentence wierd. Not alone? Since when do i care about being in a crowd? Thats totally true, i dun really care about being alone, i never did and never will like crowds either. The only reason i want to join them is because i dont deserve such nice life. I am not even doing anything amazingly nice to be rewarded so why then. I really wanted to know, for that i am asking god. What is his plan really.

Get on to the more depressing side of life. Well not exactly depressing but oh well. Anyway, had some gathering dinner for my JC CCA today. I shall not keep harping on time issues since i long ago gave up on it. I can only say it was damm awkward. Most of the seniors, heck all of the seniors i dun even know them. It was so hard to be in there. Perhaps i should had moved when they moved but the thing that crossed my mind was it really of any meaning to be seating with them? I had no idea what answer i had but i guess my answer was no.

I only went because she wanted this outing and it was in my means to go. Over the course of the dinner, one thought actually hit me. Was there any point in me being there? I mean, she do know all the seniors, one less human there wouldnt make any difference. I dunno the answer yet but i guess i will know it soon.

On a last note, i will never drink or even step into a bar(hopefully). Its my own principle. If the person i like is a heavy drinker or even a smoker, i will just rip this heart out myself.