Ah lets see, there is some mixed feelings in me after reading some articles For starters, lets explain my style abit first. Me, i learn by anything and everything in the world, from simple actions in daily life to complicated article in the news and stuff. While I do not like troublesome stuff but if I found interesting stuff, I wont be able to rest until I get the solution/answer or explanation. Ok, I found this very intriguing statement, conflicts are meant to tighten the bond. I felt that its true on my stand, while people fights whether literally or metaphorically. To me, its a clash of souls. Of course, there are people that question the existence or the definition of such thing but for now lets treat soul as "feelings of the heart" Similar to how people thinks that others speak the truth while drunk, fighting provides that same situation as well. While humans live in this world, there are restrains to every single behaviour that we are to perform. For example: you cant go around and shout vulgarities in the public without attracting undesired attention hence our actions are limited. But in the case of a fight where such restrains are lost due to the "heat" generated, what that is to be "locked" deep within the hearts are then let loose. This is where a clash of souls will start. However, this "heat" might distort one's perception in translating other's meaning which would then cause further conflicts. In which case, it wouldnt be beneficial to either parties at all. While I do not believe it is impossible to do so, the best thing out of a fight is having both parties understanding each other and reach mutual agreement without worsening their relationship and better still if they are able to strengthen that. Well with that, it ends my short(long?) essay, its been awhile since I last wrote something this long, my mundane life is getting to me >_< Words are just like any object in this world. Like a car, it can be an item of convenience or an item of conflict. Speak words that come from your soul, treat every statement you said as something important, have pride in it. The world will be a better place after that(I hope) Last but not least, a small declaration on my part, things I said in the past hasnt been forgotten by me, what I like, who I like, none has changed since the past. Its all waiting for the floodgate of emotions to break apart at the correct moment if I may. If not, these river of emotions sure forever be locked in the vault of nothingness

Had a very small chat with one of my old friends its true what she said, looking back at things, you will start to ponder as to why such actions were made in the past. Its always interesting to note the changes, things always do change whether you like it or not... In any case, we spoke about quite abit of other stuff, there are things i want to say but i cant Some words are only meant to be say out when you have the rights to do it in which case, it aint time for me yet

Intereaction with humans are so hard
Why so we try
Why should anyone try so hard
if the end result is crashed hopes

The end of the road is not always the light
for me, its always darkness

Tired of this rubbish really,
every few months, there will be a dark spot in life
creating mayhem and trouble in life

If dreams are real, this world would have ended long time ago,
i have been having weird dreams since the start of this year
black wings and burning heat
People screaming, fighting with each other

To whoever that is real/unreal up in the world
toying with the lifes of humans
i plead to u, end this miserable world already

this fake and heartless world

Awhile it has been
but nothing has changed
The world still bright
patches of darkness
There are shades of gray
hiding out of sight
Humans emotions
not to be exposed to light

Hidden they might be
forever they are not
If people are honest
happier the world will be
Illusions are always
just what they are
Facts are never
only truly distorted

When people cant
appreciate others
All they see
is nothing but darkness




a bit random post after so long but ya, this was what i was feeling at this point in time

its been damm long since i leave the typing to my heart and my heart alone. Too much censorship going around to make everything sound nice
what i want is someone to be my side
someone i can trust
someone that i can cry to
someone that i can laugh with
but that itself is also a dream
an illusion meant to trick

Its been awhile since i blog already, i thought i wont be needing this since i change my thinking totally.. I guess not, everyone needs a silent listener sometimes.
So, hey i am back to blogging

Today was epic sad for me, well i need to add in some background info first. Recently, i just started playing this anime card game chaos and weiss schwarz and so, there are cards that are signed that are freaking highly demanded and are extremely rare in the series. And just today, i saw someone took the signed from a series that i very much like in front of me. Oh yes, he doesnt play that series at all. I can understand how the rest feel liao when the signed for hanasaku iro ha was being pulled out.

And because of this incident, i realise being nice dont really have its benefits. Of course, people will say being nice doesnt ask for benefits but seriously if u compare someone nice and someone screwed up, they got the better deal, u will start to question already. So yup, i am so tired of being nice. I think i will just be a bastard for the rest of the year at least.

I am praying and hoping that i wont be posting such stuff again, next time i will perhaps post my decklist and thoughts for weiss schwarz series. Or maybe i will just stop blogging all together but then again no one knows what the future will have in store.

Have fun and live life the way u want

This probably the last time i am gonna post. The reason for this blog to exist just disappear. I know i have sin countless times in my whole life but never such a big one. Sometimes when i know something bad is going to happen if i say some things, i still do it. Well, time for me to suffer again. Words really do hurt people.

Everytime i say i dont care actually i do
Everytime i say i hate this world but actually i like this world
Just because you are around.
I am negative to see the light
Whats white when there is no black to compare
Whats happiness when there is no suffering to experience
Whats friends when there is no lonliness

My greatest sin will be my pride.
I can never say the things i feel
Always trying to hide in midst of words
Always lieing just to hide

In life i never ask for much
Just give me a bunch of friends that i can trust
I can count on
And a simple life
I am contented

When i am asking for more
I am always asking for others happiness
I know they deserve alot more than me
No one will understand these since its never written down
Spoken aloud

In camp, i told one of my bunkmates
I had no regrets in life
Except to say 3 words
" I am sorry"
These 3 words to her
Sorry for making her angry
Sorry for insulting her
Sorry for even being in her life
Sorry that i even exist in the first place

If by chance, there is anyone that chance upon this
I beseech to learn from my mistake
Feelings should be spoken aloud
Dont wait for your friends to guess
Dont lie to them
Treasure the people around you
Before its too late

Thats the story of the mist
The final and last one
Maybe i will never be with her again
And she probably wont want it either
What i am doing seem hypocritical to her
Then so be it
Thats what i thought i would say
But at this point in time, all i want
Is her to forgive me

Well, had an interesting week in camp with duties and events happening. There was this NYP visit to our camp this week and due to some reasons, our platoon turn out to be the ones helping out. I was in charge in helping people wear our combat suits, turns out to be quite fun. Running around, seeing them have fun in the suit while most of the time we will only complain when we are in it. I think its sometimes fun to watch others being happy.

Secondly, with the election drawing so close, the duties generally became more as well. Our platoon(once again) got so much stuff to do on one day that our bunk was almost empty with the exception of a thing that is still floating around in it.

Ok... time for more serious stuff. I raised my point about god sending his son to die for the people of this world to a friend which he actually explained it clearly to me. This blood tribute only applies to those that truly repents and believe in god. Thats the idea i got which i find it acceptable since no random evil person would somehow end up in heaven. Maybe i am still too negative that i am not so willing to accept that fact that someone would just die for humans like that. If its me, i would do it totally different which lead to me believing that i am one person that powers should not fall onto. If i ever obtain power, mankind would cease to exist for i believe the world's sins shouldnt never be called as such and should rather be called as the human's sins.

For now, i am believing in god. There is still greater being up there looking over us, though not all of his ideals i accept nor will i blindly accept them in the future.

But for now, i pray for this dear person of mine that is taking her exams soon, pray that she will be able to keep her cool and get pass this phase without much trouble. I pray for another, that she would get what she wish for and that god will never leave her alone no matter what. I pray for my friends in general that they can stay happy.

Well thats all, being happy everyday beats living an interesting but sad life.